And now for something completly different.

Spot the magic cat.

About ten years ago, I was helping my mother select a new cat. The old one had run away or was eaten by republicans. We had gone to the local animal shelter. While mother was sizing up the cats, I was looking at a giant Norwegian hare making hungry eyes at the cat in the next cage. 

The hare was about thirty pounds the cat was about nine. That cat was pressing herself as far as possible to the far side of her cage.  She looked like she did not want to be anywhere near that giant hare and was trying to squeeze through the bars to escape. The hare had a big toothy smile. I sensed malfeasance coming from the giant hare. Bad love or hunger, I wasn't sure. 

As mother walked by, the cat reached out and grabbed her arm. She laughed and told me to walk by the cage. I did and the cat reached out and grabbed me by the arm. We both laughed and started to walk away. Then the cat spoke. 

" Hey folks. Wouldn't you want to have a magic cat?

We were stunned. Our old cat spoke French, but we didn't. So we never knew what she was talking about. A lot of meards and incrialbe. And whenever there was food. Feet! Feet! Feet! This new cat spoke English. 
Mother said;"We have already had a talking cat."

"That may be true, but have you ever had a magic cat?"; asked the cat.

"What kind of magic?"; I asked.

"Oh the best. I can grant you two wishes." said the cat.
"Two wishes?" 

"Did I say two wishes? I meant three wishes. But only if you take me out of here right now." 

We promptly adopted the magic cat. We didn't like her old name, Morgana. So we renamed her Spot. All during the procedures, the cat said nothing. On the way home as mother held the cat in her lap, the cat spoke.

"Thank you for getting me away from that overly amorous hare, Merlin.

 Oh by the way. When I said I would grant you three wishes. 

I was lying."

The cat never spoke again.

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