From the World Organization Operational Police Effective Enforcement W.O.O.P.E.E.

The  WOOPEE  Papers.

Secret document stolen by espionage trained turkeys. As everyone knows the North Koreans are ever vigilant in their hunt for spies. They have seen spies from every country in the world. Their catch and kill rate was very high. Diplomats, contractors, investors, and (believe it or not) tourists. They suspect them all. But no one suspects turkeys.

Armed with minicamera-GPS-cellphone wattles. These highly trained highly motivated turkeys have been running all over North Korea for years. Walking past armed guards at military bases, missile factories, and even Up Chuck Goon's private residences. All 19 of them.

These undercover turkeys are better than drones. They go right in, under Up Chuck Goon's radar. When they reach a checkpoint, the guards let them walk by. 
"They can't be spies, they are just harmless run of the mill turkeys."

The following was decoded by crack sypher cracking aardvarks in a secret location. A memo from Up Chuck Goon.

From the Imperial Palace desk of Up Chuck Goon (the Donald trump of North Korea.)

Thanks to everyone for their hard work and I would love to give MY CHUMP TRUMP a laurel and hardy handshake. Without his stupidity and your tireless efforts, I never could have done it.

As you know all my missile facilities were obsolete. Some were sixty years old. How could we modernize without drawing attention?

Simple. Fake missile reduction talks. Now I almost regret killing my uncle Jang Song Thaek. It was his idea to tear down all the obsolete facilities as a sign of disarmament. Right after fake missile talks. Now the obsolete facilities have been cleaned up modernization is in full swing.

Who would have ever thought the Americans would elect the stupidest fool in the world to their President. 

My chump Trump really likes Benito Mussolini and Joe Stalin. So do I. We both love their ruling style and we both imitate them. In thought and deed. That is our common ground. I stroked his ego and suckered him in to my plan.

Since my chump Trump is planning to stay president of America forever. I need to help him as much as possible, like Putin. We are never going to get another stooge like Trump the Chump again. Once my chump Trump over throws the United States of America no one will have to worry about regime change. 
Dictators of a feather stick together.
Your Dear Leader,
 Up Chuck Goon
///

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