Welcome to Nightmare Fairytale time.

Shit White and the Seven Stooges. 
By Tom S Hunter

Chapter one

 In a far away place between the shadows of Hell, is an accursed wasteland called NightmareVania. There lurked a Klan of ogres, living in a cheap knock-off castle. The ogre King Turd ruled them.

Every night King Turd would stand in front of his magic-slimming mirror and say. 

"Mirror hanging on the wall who is the ugliest of them all?"
The mirror would reply.
"You should change your name to fugly. Cause you're so mother-f**king ugly."
King Turd would wet himself with glee. 

And then one dark and stormy night, King Turd asked the mirror. "Mirror hanging on the wall who is the ugliest of them all?"

The mirror replied; 
"In the forest of despair. The ugliest one you'll find there. I mean this guy is uber-ugly and nasty. WOW! Man I get ill thinking about it. And now I can't get that image out of my mind.

As a baby he was so ugly. His nurse didn't know which end to feed. I mean WOW! And get this. The guy is the real King Turd. His real name is King Shit White Turd the Worst.

He is lurking in a white cottage, in the far off land called Washington D.C. In private he is called Shit White by his cabinet of Seven Stooges. In public he is known as King Donny John the First. More equal than others, in fact superior to all others. Whom neutered the republicans. Ruler of the Americas. 

If ugly were years? This abomination would be 14,000,000,000 years old. Talk about crude and unmannered. This guy has all the culture of a cheap whore house toilet. And WOW IS HE UGLY!"

Upon hearing this, the king broke the mirror into pieces. All the pieces kept speaking about this unspeakable ugliness. They were quickly swept up by the cleaning staff who were then immediately deported to Central America. Where they were promptly hired by a Mine-are-Larger resort independent sub contractor. 

"Documentation? We don't need no stinking documentation."; said the contractor.     

Meanwhile back in Washington D.C. Shit White was interviewing the seven alternates from his 2017 contest.

 How far can you stick your nose up my ass?
Recently some of his seven stooges in his cabinet were fired. He really likes firing people. Seniority is assigned by how far one stuffs their nose up Shit White's ass. Cabinet positions (other than doggy style)
1.       Chief of Staff
2. Secretary of  Offence 
3. Secretary of  Environmental Exploitation 
4. Secretary of  Economic Exploitation
5. Secretary of  Housing Eviction and Urban Blight
6. Secretary of  Education Financial Redistribution (to the rich only)
7. Secretary of  Alt-reality.
8. And thirteen other guys.

Shit White calls his seven stooges; Bitchy, Nasty, Blighty, Stingy,  Creepy, Dummy, and Mephistopheles. Shit White affectionately referred to them as MY BEST BITCHES. 
The thirteen others didn't rate for potus' terms of affection. 

Meanwhile back in NightmareVania. King Turd called his council of stooges. "We must prevent Shit White from dethroning me." said King Turd.
The first of the council of stooges spoke; " Not to worry, Sire. He doesn't know anything about geography. He is too stupid to find us on a map."
"Are you sure?"; asked the king.
"Have you seen this guys grades and SAT scores? King Donny John couldn't find his butt with both hands. He is so dumb. He thinks a laptop comes at the end of a pole dance."; said the Chief of Stooges. 
"We must keep an eye on King Donny John. He is incredibly  stupid and that makes him dangerous. He is a danger to the whole world. He might start World War Three. "; said the king. 
Look forward to our next unsettling chapter of;
SHIT WHITE and the SEVEN STOOGES. 

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